Earlier today I was thinking about my tendency to want to fix things for those I love (my family and friends) and realized that I was doing them a disservice.
It occurred to me that I can still care about them and the events in their lives, but I don't need to carry their worries or concerns. I've got to back off, and respect that we each have the ability to deal with whatever life serves up.
We are each responsible for our own 'stuff'.
Rather than swooping in and offering up my opinion, I will listen more and do my best to wait until it's been asked for. Of course I will continue to care for those close to me, and if they ask, jump to their side and help in what ever way I can. That will not change.
I can still care without carrying.
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Sunday, 29 May 2011
Amazing
This is an amazing story about a young man with the desire to improve his life – and the lives of others.
http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/TopStories/20110525/blind-echolocation-kish-110525/
He re-wired (or re-programmed) his brain. Wow.
Here's more on the term, Neuroplasticity.
http://memoryzine.com/2010/07/02/introduction-to-neuroplasticity/
Our thoughts are powerful.
http://www.ctv.ca/CTVNews/TopStories/20110525/blind-echolocation-kish-110525/
He re-wired (or re-programmed) his brain. Wow.
Here's more on the term, Neuroplasticity.
http://memoryzine.com/2010/07/02/introduction-to-neuroplasticity/
Our thoughts are powerful.
Thursday, 26 May 2011
Congratulations!
In an earlier post, we explored advice that we'd give ourselves, if we could travel back in time.
Here's something else along that line.
If you could travel back in time, what events or actions are you most proud of? Take a few moments and really think back. What stands out? It could be an achievement (grad, promotion, overcoming an obstacle, winning a race, reaching a goal) OR, it could be a single moment when you did something outstanding (made a hard decision, told a great joke well, delivered on a promise, gave something without expecting anything back) and positively impacted another person's life or changed your own.
Remember the feeling of satisfaction or pride in your actions or words?
We've got to celebrate those moments more often. I'm not saying there needs to be a parade and fireworks every time, but a celebration or acknowledgment of an accomplishment will go a long way in helping us enjoy life more. Those events are part of what made us who we are today.
When was the last time you actually celebrated an achievement or success of your own making?
I encourage you to think about one thing that you are proud of in your life, a success, an achievement, overcoming a challenge, something that you've done to the best of your ability. Then pat yourself on the back and say “Well done!” Take it further if you want (make a list of multiple successes – or celebrate one in a big way), but start there – simply congratulate yourself for doing one thing really well and notice how good it feels. When you've got that, choose another one.
Maybe you think it silly to do this, but imagine your best friend, or someone you love doing something worthy of a sincere 'Well done!' It's easy to congratulate them, right? Why shouldn't we do the same thing for ourselves?
Here's something else along that line.
If you could travel back in time, what events or actions are you most proud of? Take a few moments and really think back. What stands out? It could be an achievement (grad, promotion, overcoming an obstacle, winning a race, reaching a goal) OR, it could be a single moment when you did something outstanding (made a hard decision, told a great joke well, delivered on a promise, gave something without expecting anything back) and positively impacted another person's life or changed your own.
Remember the feeling of satisfaction or pride in your actions or words?
We've got to celebrate those moments more often. I'm not saying there needs to be a parade and fireworks every time, but a celebration or acknowledgment of an accomplishment will go a long way in helping us enjoy life more. Those events are part of what made us who we are today.
When was the last time you actually celebrated an achievement or success of your own making?
I encourage you to think about one thing that you are proud of in your life, a success, an achievement, overcoming a challenge, something that you've done to the best of your ability. Then pat yourself on the back and say “Well done!” Take it further if you want (make a list of multiple successes – or celebrate one in a big way), but start there – simply congratulate yourself for doing one thing really well and notice how good it feels. When you've got that, choose another one.
Maybe you think it silly to do this, but imagine your best friend, or someone you love doing something worthy of a sincere 'Well done!' It's easy to congratulate them, right? Why shouldn't we do the same thing for ourselves?
Friday, 20 May 2011
Weekend Earworm
A fun trip back in time with Lionel Richie. This song's a party, a Fiesta for the ears and it makes me want to dance.
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiLziusKW4s
Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiLziusKW4s
Wednesday, 18 May 2011
Flower or Weed?
During a recent conversation with a dear friend, one of the topics that came up was Flowers VS Weeds. What's the difference and how can we tell? A lot of weeds have flowers. They can be delicate, colorful and attract bees - just like (official) flowers. So, why do we pull some out of our garden, and leave others. It made me think about how we look at things.... and reminds me of the old adage 'one persons trash is another's treasure'. Maybe it's the same with Flowers VS Weeds, and other things that come up in our lives. If we think something in a 'flower', to us, it is.
I choose to see this lovely little plant as a flower. The purple against the white and the dark green is beautiful to me. Someone else might laugh, tell me it's a weed and suggest I pull it out.
Maybe, but ultimately, it's my garden, and I get to choose what is in it.
I choose to see this lovely little plant as a flower. The purple against the white and the dark green is beautiful to me. Someone else might laugh, tell me it's a weed and suggest I pull it out.
Maybe, but ultimately, it's my garden, and I get to choose what is in it.
Saturday, 14 May 2011
Time travel
A video that went viral earlier this week (Dear 16 year Old Me - see link below) got me thinking about how often I've said, “If I'd known then what I know now, I would have done things differently.”
Ha. I've lost count of the times.
But, it makes me wonder – If I could travel back in time, what would I tell my younger self? Back to when I was in High School with the self-consciousness and the rejection (oh the tears)..... when at 21, I unintentionally broke someone's heart, then at 25 when I discovered my boyfriend (who I was madly in love with) was unfaithful. Those times when I settled for less than what I knew I deserved, when I did things (that didn't feel quite right) for fear of being rejected or alone.
What advice would I give myself if I could go back to those moments?
Yes, I know I can't travel back in time – and I understand that all of my life's experiences have led up to this moment in time. Perhaps I would have been a different person if I'd done things differently. I am now much more clear about who I am and I feel a compassion for myself (and all of my foibles) that I didn't have then. I like who I am now, so I have no regrets.
But - if I could go back, I would console myself, tell myself that I was doing the best I could – that 'he didn't deserve me anyway' and that I do deserve to be treated with respect. I'd laugh at myself more and realize that those 'character building experiences' were worth it. I'd remind myself to stay true to my heart and values and that I would succeed by doing things in my own, unique way. I'd encourage myself to stay emotionally open, knowing that I would eventually meet a very special man who loves me for who I am. I would give myself a hug with the reassuring words, 'It's all going to work out for the best. Relax and try not take things personally, or yourself so seriously." *
Wow. These are all things I would say to my best friend. And that, in itself is a big shift for me - from self-criticism to compassion.
So, maybe the experiences we have in life are like arrows along the way, guiding us to a clearer understanding of who we are? Hmmmm. That certainly helps me look at the experiences I'll have today (and the future) in a new and much more positive light.
* By the way – props to my mom, who reminded me of these things all through my life. I'm sure she'd be very happy to know that I finally listened.
Here's a link to that video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jgUcxMezM
So - what would you say to yourself if you could go back in time? What advice would you give the younger you?
Ha. I've lost count of the times.
But, it makes me wonder – If I could travel back in time, what would I tell my younger self? Back to when I was in High School with the self-consciousness and the rejection (oh the tears)..... when at 21, I unintentionally broke someone's heart, then at 25 when I discovered my boyfriend (who I was madly in love with) was unfaithful. Those times when I settled for less than what I knew I deserved, when I did things (that didn't feel quite right) for fear of being rejected or alone.
What advice would I give myself if I could go back to those moments?
Yes, I know I can't travel back in time – and I understand that all of my life's experiences have led up to this moment in time. Perhaps I would have been a different person if I'd done things differently. I am now much more clear about who I am and I feel a compassion for myself (and all of my foibles) that I didn't have then. I like who I am now, so I have no regrets.
But - if I could go back, I would console myself, tell myself that I was doing the best I could – that 'he didn't deserve me anyway' and that I do deserve to be treated with respect. I'd laugh at myself more and realize that those 'character building experiences' were worth it. I'd remind myself to stay true to my heart and values and that I would succeed by doing things in my own, unique way. I'd encourage myself to stay emotionally open, knowing that I would eventually meet a very special man who loves me for who I am. I would give myself a hug with the reassuring words, 'It's all going to work out for the best. Relax and try not take things personally, or yourself so seriously." *
Wow. These are all things I would say to my best friend. And that, in itself is a big shift for me - from self-criticism to compassion.
So, maybe the experiences we have in life are like arrows along the way, guiding us to a clearer understanding of who we are? Hmmmm. That certainly helps me look at the experiences I'll have today (and the future) in a new and much more positive light.
* By the way – props to my mom, who reminded me of these things all through my life. I'm sure she'd be very happy to know that I finally listened.
Here's a link to that video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jgUcxMezM
So - what would you say to yourself if you could go back in time? What advice would you give the younger you?
Wednesday, 11 May 2011
The Kindness of Strangers
Some days, gestures of kindness show up, exactly when we need them.
Today was one of those days.
Imagine this - It's early morning; a cool and very rainy day in Vancouver; my car won't start, so I figure I'll take the bus; I get a seat, and later notice my umbrella has left a huge wet spot on my lap; my feet are soaked, because somehow along the way I've managed to step in a big puddle and I'm running late for an appointment.......... I'm sure you get the picture.
The route to my appointment required me to take 2 buses. As the bus I was on arrived at the stop I needed to get my connection, I noticed my 'next' bus had just turned the corner. Once off the first bus I sprinted and got to the next bus stop just in time to see my connection leave (without me on it). Oh no!
But, here's where things get much better.
For some reason, I kept running and much to my surprise, I saw the bus pull over about 1/2 block ahead (not at a bus stop)..... I couldn't quite believe my eyes. I kept running and as I got closer, the bus doors opened, and the driver smiled at me. I smiled back, thanked him, paid and got on.
Wow, what a nice thing to do. I don't know what the 'rules' are for bus drivers, but they don't normally pick people up unless they're at a bus stop.
He didn't have to, but the bus driver went out of his way to help a complete stranger. The gesture; the kindness did not go unnoticed.
I made it to my meeting a few minutes early, and feeling happy. If nothing else, it is clear to me how easily we can make a positive difference in someone's life. It can be as simple as a smile, an offer of help, or an unexpected kindness.
Today was one of those days.
Imagine this - It's early morning; a cool and very rainy day in Vancouver; my car won't start, so I figure I'll take the bus; I get a seat, and later notice my umbrella has left a huge wet spot on my lap; my feet are soaked, because somehow along the way I've managed to step in a big puddle and I'm running late for an appointment.......... I'm sure you get the picture.
The route to my appointment required me to take 2 buses. As the bus I was on arrived at the stop I needed to get my connection, I noticed my 'next' bus had just turned the corner. Once off the first bus I sprinted and got to the next bus stop just in time to see my connection leave (without me on it). Oh no!
But, here's where things get much better.
For some reason, I kept running and much to my surprise, I saw the bus pull over about 1/2 block ahead (not at a bus stop)..... I couldn't quite believe my eyes. I kept running and as I got closer, the bus doors opened, and the driver smiled at me. I smiled back, thanked him, paid and got on.
Wow, what a nice thing to do. I don't know what the 'rules' are for bus drivers, but they don't normally pick people up unless they're at a bus stop.
He didn't have to, but the bus driver went out of his way to help a complete stranger. The gesture; the kindness did not go unnoticed.
I made it to my meeting a few minutes early, and feeling happy. If nothing else, it is clear to me how easily we can make a positive difference in someone's life. It can be as simple as a smile, an offer of help, or an unexpected kindness.
Monday, 9 May 2011
Another Earworm
Another Monday - another catchy (and really fun) Earworm.
This one is from Michael Franti and Spearhead.
Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehu3wy4WkHs
This one is from Michael Franti and Spearhead.
Enjoy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehu3wy4WkHs
Thursday, 5 May 2011
Express Yourself
There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique.
Martha Graham
Martha Graham
Monday, 2 May 2011
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